Man's Bisexual Past Gnaws at Woman's Sense of TrustDEAR ABBY: I am a 49-year-old woman who has been in a romantic relationship with a good, caring man for two years. We live together, and he shows me all the time how much he loves me. We have amazing chemistry and are very affectionate. We enjoy spending time together, especially outdoors.
When we first started dating, he told me he was bisexual and had had relationships with men. He insists I am his true love and he is with only me now. He has never shown signs of straying, but sometimes I get insecure and wonder if I should take him at his word that he only wants me. Should I trust him? -- WANTS TO BE SURE IN RHODE ISLAND
DEAR WANTS: This man has been upfront with you. Because someone finds members of both genders attractive does not mean the person is incapable of monogamy. During the last two years, he has given you no reason to believe he is untrustworthy, so take steps to deal with your insecurity and take him at his word.
My son is livid that I would even consider including her. Her other grandparents refuse to have anything to do with her. How do I deal with this? -- DILEMMA IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR DILEMMA: You have a loving heart. I assume all the children live together with their mother. To exclude their half-sister would be logistically difficult and cruel to a child who is blameless. Your son may not like the situation, but it is time for him to grow up and face reality. You are the only grandmother that child has ever known, so remain calm, assert your right to self-determination and refuse to allow yourself to be bullied or intimidated.
DEAR DIFFERENT: Your husband may have hearing problems, but your relatives appear to be tone deaf in the sensitivity department. What they are doing is cruel.
Rather than compare your life to that of friends and relatives who have more freedom to socialize than you and your husband do, it would be more constructive to figure out what you CAN do. Socialize either with others or by yourselves in places that don't serve alcohol and aren't overly noisy. Ask your relatives to join you there -- and put the ball in their court.
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