TARDY WORKER WHO WAS FIRED SEEKS RIGHT TIME TO EXPLAIN IT
DEAR ABBY: I was recently fired from my job for chronic tardiness. I have worked at this business for four years, and although I knew my lateness was seen as a problem by my boss, it was still a surprise.
Now that I'm back in the job market again, I'm wondering if I need to mention my previous tardiness on employment applications. I asked my mother, who has been privy to this whole mess. She thinks I should mention it and explain that I have learned my lesson -- especially when applying to a different branch of my former company that would have direct access to my evaluations.
I think I should explain my tardiness as a "lesson learned" on job interviews when/if it comes up, not on applications where I am trying to put my best foot forward. What say you? -- TARDY FOR WORK
DEAR TARDY: While I think your mother may mean well, I agree with you!
DEAR ABBY: When I was little I would have given anything to have met my father at least once. Now I am 26 and have a 2-year-old boy, "Sean." I am married, but not to his father (a man I'll call Charlie).
All of a sudden, Charlie is wanting to be in Sean's life, but Sean already knows my husband as his daddy. I'm confused and afraid. What's your advice? I don't want to confuse my little boy about the man who is raising him and his biological father, but I don't want to wait 'til Sean is older and cause him pain. -- MOM IN TENNESSEE
DEAR MOM: It appears that Bio-Dad is a little slow on the uptake. Now that he wants to be part of Sean's life, he should also be paying child support if he doesn't already, so discuss this with a lawyer.
Charlie should be introduced to Sean by his name for now. When the boy is old enough to understand -- in a year or two -- he should then be told that he has two dads and that he'll be sharing time with both of them because they both love him.
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. Last Thanksgiving I invited him -- and he attended -- my family's get-together. Of course, I invited him again this year.
However, his rich sister and brother-in-law are treating his family to Thanksgiving dinner at a nice restaurant. I was not invited.
My feelings are hurt, but I'm not sure I'm justified in feeling that way. Should I just get over it since I'm not actually a member of their family? -- UNINVITED IN MISSOURI
DEAR UNINVITED: If you're smart, you'll be gracious about this. While it would have been nice if the sister had included you, you and your boyfriend are not engaged -- and the sister may have wanted the dinner to be "strictly family." As the hostess, that is her privilege.
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